I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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