and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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