Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
two words: eviction party
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
