is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
