her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
