i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
We were destined to go to rehab together
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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