K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
