found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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