He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Is Oprah even human
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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