I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize