With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
