sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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