okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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