i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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