Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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