oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
They are going to name an STD after you.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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