i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
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