if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
