mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Such a big mess for such a small penis
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
