Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
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