ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Randomize
