dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
