dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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