my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
