like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
