Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
