So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Just kidding.Β Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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