Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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