with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
