I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Randomize
