this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
