That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
thus making me awesome and them whores
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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