I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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