Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Randomize
