remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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