Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
