NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
