she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize