Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
A+ Viking dick
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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