Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize