Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
