So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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