I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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