That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize