I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
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