Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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