It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
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Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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