your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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