People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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