my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
