If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Floor bacon is actually really good
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
