my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
