Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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