I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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