What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
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