if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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