I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
