matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
