okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
