It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
