found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
