can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
handjob tips. give me some.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
