i think i have two assholes
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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